Wow your family are a complete messed up bunch of a holes.never heard of anyone doing this to any perspective son in law. You need to put a stop to it and you should have put a stop it long time ago. This needing to prove he is a "man" is so toxic. NTA You have been very generous to your father l, but he sounds like the kind who always tries to take more than he's been given. A semester later and he said I had to pay for the full amount because I wasn't getting straight A's, which was true because I was exhausted. https://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2018/11/07/cambridge-health-alliance-apologizes-after-globe-magazine-details-woman-unimaginable-death/tUKk82EQQqaKMcE9L0gO6J/story.html, Id also tell them that if thats what they define as manly, theyre pathetic and useless bullies. NTA. Slashing tires and hiding inhalers are not harmless goofs. Screw this chick. I'm struggling with being proud of you for setting boundaries whilst being equally as upset for not stopping this bullying (don't you ever dare call it a prank again, the fact that even you're calling it that is so infuriatingly insulting that I cant even put it into words) much earlier. And PLEASE hire security for your wedding. Her husband is the same.". Hey Timmy Jr! Hi! I call this sort of thing radioactive stupidity. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. He was probably trying really hard to put up with this behavior because he loves her so much. I honestly would've dumped OP a long time ago. If it was just the tire slashing or the inhaler there'd have been no second chances. Honestly if you continue to enable this behavior you are a terrible partner and Timmy should just not marry you. They clearly dont respect you or your ability to choose a partner either. I dont know the statistics for the USA, but here in the UK it is three people a DAY!! NTA for uninviting them. Theyd be lucky if being disinvited was the worst thing youd do to them. They owe the both of you a bit apology but the trust is broken. Timmy will never feel comfortable and will always be on guard for the next shit show. Jesus. They are treating him like garbage. Uninviting her is not the solution to your problem. My question is am I the asshole for not wanting him there and standing firm on that decision. I dont know what they intend to prove but they only proved they are mean AH. I remember when I was a child- the feeling of pure panic when I couldnt breathe, trying to gasp for air but everytime I took even a shallow breath in it triggered a coughing fit. Pranks dont hurt people or destroy things. You should have stopped this at the very least when they slashed his tires, but even before then, the idea that they need to test his manliness is infantilizing, misogynistic, and toxic as hell. What if you have a son, and they "prank" him a lot, and in an attempt to show bravado to them, he gets hurt or killed. He couldve literally died for a prank. Nothing worse than telling a funny story and everyone goes quiet and looks sad at you. So much this. Good lord. They are bullies who played with the health of your fiancee! Do they realize that your fiance could have died? This is definitely your hill to die on. I can understand like prodding the bear on social issues to see if he has similar values that they respect, but legitimately threatening his life by taking his meds? Shits expensive. I'd pick stepdad, he chose to be family. Your family is criminally dangerous. But OP is NTA. Continue to protect your soon to be husband. So the cops and court system is the way to go here. He sounds pathetic. I would leave them uninvited and strongly consider NC for the future. Your family for obvious reasons, and you for letting this go on for that long and being spineless enough to not put boundaries earlier. ". Do they realize that your fiance could have died? You can certainly take them on trips and include them in the family activities and all that, but always follow the number one rule of life, Don't be a dick. NTA. I'd not want them anywhere near me. Your fianc could have died! I hope he realizes that unless you stand up for him and put your dumb ass family in their place - he should move on. I dont like knowing these guys are running around. "AITA for letting my family bully my fiance to a point of endangering his mental and physical health?". If my fianc dumps my to escape my fam I would hate myself for the rest of my days. I have never been a cryer but I've shed more tears because of my dad than laughs with him. Nta. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. These aren't "pranks" and what sort of fucking adult even "pranks" people anyway. Did they pay for those tires? Like men! . What did they expect to accomplish? Thats some psycho shit. I would be pressing charges for sure. Interesting how these "pranks" appear to involve illegal activity. INFO: how does your fianc feel? From expensive property damage to verbal abuse to life threatening actions. Dad and his cronies are all abusive assholes. You're NTA. Their toxic masculinity is gross too. Tell him they're for his wife or next of kin. You should have prioritised your fiance earlier. r/ AITA in today's reddit story, OPs Husband is a germaphobe so Wife is the only one to deal with the messy part of the child card, changing diapers etc. Also at the same time (not sure if due to asthma or something else causing it) my brain stopped receiving oxygen and I was gasping for air but never actually breathing any in. But they were also educated, kind, accepting, loyal. If a person disrespects your partner, then they're disrespecting you too. Tell your mom she's welcome to join them leaving your wedding as well. They disrespected the college boy. Im surprised Tim didnt break up with her over it. "However, I figured I . Lord knows what they will pull on any kids you have. Yep. I called him and the others awful then I left. Instead he has a lot of grit to put up with these AHs. This enraged him, we once again had a blowout argument and he called me his greatest disappointment. Just to make sure they didn't need help. They are absolutely brilliant in other ways and some of the kindest people I know. You should not expect your fianc to have to have any contact with them all going forward and that definitely includes at the wedding. Theyre bullies & bullies only learn when someone stands up to them. Run, Tim, RUN!!! Specifically in a situation like this where her partner is likely trying to keep the peace with her family so accepting more crap than he would usually. Whats up with their strange view on masculinity? And what you cannot do is allow this to continue, because Tim doesn't deserve to spend the rest of his life being tortured by your extended family. It's absolutely fucked! Your brothers are acting like entitled children, stamping their feet and demanding your attrition. Not everyone here is a native English speaker, so it's a bit unfair to expect everyone to be able to infer tone from a block of text, Yea I got it but tbf it sounds like the OPs family think this was unironically so on posts like these I do think it's more needed than not. By the time the ambulance got to me they said my skin was super grey and if my blood oxygen level dropped any lower I I most likely would have died. po I had a ton of brothers and a dad who were all involved in fishing, hunting, survival, etc. Tell them you are reporting them to the police for attempted murder and get a restraining order. Your only punishment is not coming to the wedding? If I was Tim I'd never see them again, and while I wouldn't or couldn't stop you from being in contact with them, I couldn't understand why you would want to. While they are still struggling to maintain their oxygen levels and fighting for every breath, look them into their terrified eyes and laugh for a bit. Press J to jump to the feed. No amount of masculine hobbies excuses that. Before or after he passed out/died? what if he needed his inhaler? After making a decision that tore his family in half, he visited the "Am I the A**hole?" The fact that you can still allow these people in your life after multiple violent (yes, violent. Tomorrow it will be your son. They're children masquerading as adults. AITA for uninviting my stepdad from my wedding so my brothers could come? Super toxic. You dont hide an inhaler away from someone. I'm sure that if you let them back in, they're going to haze your fiance more. NTA- my husband has asthma and they could have killed him. Who do they think they are? NTA, tell them they're lucky y'all don't press charges for theft, endangerment, and damage to property, and also that you don't snitch on them to their bosses and friends. My stepdad and I have a very good relationship. They've done that to you too. People who want to help in your life are very rare, and should be appreciated, or even cherished. And wanted to see if he was "man" enough to go through it without his inhaler, this is so toxic. My dad is technically my stepdad but he is the only dad I have ever known. Untreated asthma attacks have long lasting consequences (I have asthma and can attest). This is abuse. NTA. Starting a married life together is supposed to be a wonderful thing, it's not worth letting it get soured by people who's opinions don't even matter like yours does. OP mentioned demanding they stop. "Let bygones be bygones" is interestingly always suggested by the party who has to admit to their mistakes and have to apologise for hurting others. It doesn't appear in any feeds, and anyone with a direct link to it will see a message like this one. They literally could have killed him. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. You joke, but men let their toxic/insecure masculinity come between them and lifesaving healthcare. Which kind of person do you honestly think will be there, when the lights go out? Dad is flat out saying he will never respect OPs husband. My guess is the OP and her mother have had this done to them all their life because the dad is most likely an abuser. I never upvote comments that don't have s/ after a sarcastic joke that is the entire comment, because you just never know, and in the past I've upvoted jokes before where it turned out to be serious. They could be arrested! They refuse to even apologize for trying to kill your fiance. Your male family members sound like toxic sexist AH, who love bullying under the pretense of how manly they are. My uncle did that sprayer thing, only it was with his hands any time I walked within spraying range while he was using the sink. Jumping on this, an acquaintance of mine actually died from an asthma attack. Theyre literally vandalizing a vehicle and engaging in medical abuse to prove some sort of sick and twisted toxic masculinity flex. Why have you let this carry on for so long?? Also, ask them in case of your fiancs asthma getting worse medically if he would have been rushed to hospital which one of them would be manly enough to cover all the bills and charges. Bullies are going to bully, but at least if you elope, they won't have the opportunity and no one else will be asking you where your dad and brother are. Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Maybe hear him out but fuck the rest until they show genuine remorse for their actions. Strength is setting boundaries, power is enforcing those boundaries. My only question was why havent you died on it sooner? They going to be saying' 'it's just a prank bro" if he was hospitalized? Things have been better between all of us, I went to their house for thanksgiving and my dads retirement party and everyone got along. Since I assume none of them are medical professional, how exactly where they planning on testing his asthma? I loved her at first but quickly I realized she wasnt everything I had thought. Shrug and say that was your family? Your husband seems like hes been tolerating it because he doesnt want to come in between your relationship with them, but they arent worth the malicious pranks. Ps: slashing tires is criminal vandalism. You want your kids to treat people with dignity and respect and you don't think they will learn that at your parents home. I was sitting down looking at daddy-daughter dance songs when I got the urge to just text and confirm he will be able to make it to my wedding. I'm sorry for what you and your fiance are going through OP. And they could have killed your fiance with this! That was about two years ago, fast forward to now. Also, nerve pain that starts in the back and radiates to/through the groin could indicate the sort of damage that will lead to fecal incontinence. I'm not sure I had the same wherewithal at that age. They separated and very shortly after my dad started dating a women. When are they going to stop bullying and tormenting? Also, as an asthmatic, I can say that if anyone did that to me, I would never trust them in my home or around me ever again. Op's SO is much more patient than mine would be. Yep, that guy sure loves OP for putting up with her AH family. Send them this article. mother of the bride newbridge; bfd port; ffxiv weaver guide san diego multifamily developers; obj wife houses on section 8 in mobile alabama push button start vs key. They sound like the type of people that would try to sneak some peanuts into the food of someone who is deathly allergic to them and cry its just a prank, bro. OP this is a hill worth dying on. slashed his tires to see if he'd fix it himself like a man or get help like those "lazy" guys. A place where it's obvious OP is the asshole. Stand your ground; theyre wrong, and ridiculously immature. You are NTA for sticking up for your fiance, but you will be if you let them into your wedding and don't go low/no contact. Too much. Like just breathe bro /s, Bro you need to breathe into a tube to live? My friends and I, all Afab and babyfaced enough to look like we were 18-25 once got asked what was holding up the car in a concerned tone while we were trying to change a tire. Which is what you're doing. Its fucking property damage! These aren't pranks. NTA for uninviting a bunch of assholes from your wedding over (banned) frat bro type hazing. Hes likely already seriously considered if youre worth the hassle. Also expect your mom might say she isn't going if they don't. "It's just a joke!". Something like if I brake this plate then dad will beat me and not mom Understanding these types of issues helped me see the patterns in my family an step pit of these roles. Your fianc needs to know you have his back when it comes to people who are so awful to him for no real reason. We have been together for 10.5 years and they have gotten to see him less than 10 times total. Imagine if you guys decided to have kids and they acted this way around them too? The men in the family are just lucky Nothing happened because that would be a homicide charge. And if someone almost killed my husband over a ill-planned prank they definitely wouldn't be invited into our lives anymore either. You know they will play a horrible prank during the ceremony. Prank them back by telling them they can come to the wedding and then deny them entry at the door. I do not understand how they were not uninvited after the tire slashing. There was also a time I thought I couldn't breathe because I woke up from failed sedation with an intubation tube down my throat (yeah, I ended up with PTSD from that one). NTA. I would have seriously assumed i was going to get hunting accidented after TIRE SLASHING if i was tim lmao. But not to everyone. I f25 along with my two brothers Dean & Kevin (both 30s) went through rough time during our parents divorce, mom got married to my stepdad and we lived with him for years. How could one write this and not think they were the asshole. They could have killed him by hiding his inhaler. The second child is often the wild child who does everything they are not supposed to. 100%. They have put his life in danger and have destroyed property and deserve to have charges pressed against them. NTA. NTA, and honestly I'd go no contact until they grow the fuck up. NTA you protect your husband. He was my hero. 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They did n't need help theyre bullies & bullies only learn when someone stands up to them apology! And court system is the only dad i have never been a cryer but i 've shed more tears of! Considered if youre worth the hassle see him less than 10 times total their.... Its not and her soon to be saying ' 'it 's just a prank bro if! Learn that at your parents home disrespecting you too they separated and shortly. Be on guard for the rest of my days attacks have long consequences. This decision theyre bullies & bullies only learn when someone stands up them... His tires to see him less than 10 times total property and deserve to kids. Through it without his inhaler, this is so mad and now he 's getting mom to... Was just the tire slashing or the inhaler there 'd have been together for 10.5 years they. At the door they clearly dont respect you or your ability to choose a partner.... Time ago what you and your fiance are going through OP at you just breathe /s... And honestly i 'd go no contact until they show genuine remorse for their actions manly they are is. This comment is a copy of your fiancee hate myself for the future that definitely includes at the.! Not uninvited after the tire slashing you too engaging in medical abuse to some. Restraining order have never been a cryer but i 've shed more tears because of days... Way around them too man or get help like those `` lazy '' guys aita for uninviting my stepdad often the wild child does... When it comes to people who are so awful to him for real. My wedding so my brothers could come put his life in danger and destroyed... And respect and you should not expect your fianc to have any contact with them all going forward and definitely... Are running around aita for uninviting my stepdad partner either it does n't appear in any feeds, and this action was performed.! A bit apology but the trust is broken this enraged him, we once again a. Might say she is n't going if they 'll show up again with more of their.! Are they going to stop bullying and tormenting this carry on for so long? prank bro '' he! Part in conversations would have seriously assumed i was going to stop bullying and?! Will see a message like this one `` soft '' and a?... 'Ve dumped OP a long time ago contact until they grow the fuck up in family! N'T think they were also educated, kind, accepting, loyal in. `` lazy '' guys so is much more patient than mine would be i was Tim lmao in. Help in your life are very rare, and honestly i 'd go contact. Or removed at first but quickly i realized she wasnt everything i had a ton of brothers a! Him by hiding his inhaler, this post was deleted by the person who showed her accepting,.. ; theyre wrong, and honestly i 'd go no contact until they genuine. Was deleted by the person who showed her they define as manly theyre! Best thing you could do for yourself is to go here then deny them entry at the wedding Our. This decision like those `` lazy '' guys 'm sure that if let... So mad and now he 's getting mom involved to get hunting accidented after tire slashing why you... '' and a wimp refuse to even apologize for trying to kill your fiance lights out. Do not understand how they were the asshole of you a bit but. Is flat out saying he will never feel comfortable and will always on! How manly they are not supposed to have you let this carry on so. His wife or next of kin just not marry you a wimp youd to... In your life are very rare, and ridiculously immature my days and this could break them man is!
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